Wow! I can't believe this semester is almost over. It's FLOWN by! It seems like I say that every semester, but I think this time is even more true. It seems like I just got back in the swing of being back at school, and now there's only a little over a month left. And then....GULP.....I'll be a senior. Oh boy....even writing those words takes my breath away. I don't think I'm ready to grow up. Well, I guess in a way I am--I'm ready to experience new things, and I'm certainly ready to not live in a dorm anymore and to feel a sense of permanency.
But (and I know this sounds pretty pathetic), I'm not ready for responsibility. Paying bills, having a "big-girl" job, deciding where to live, and what to do with the rest of my life. One of the things I fear the most is becoming one of those people who everyone talks about because they spent four years going to college so they could get a better job, and then they just end up living back at home like some kind of loser who can't make it on their own. Now, I know that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I think you know what I mean.
And there's the other big question of 'what if I end up alone'? It's a bit of a silly thing to fear, but I don't do well being all alone for an extended period of time. I get lazy, unmotivated, and complacent. I've always been the kind of person who needs people around to either get me motivated, or I motivate myself by getting them going.
I don't really need to hear that everything's going to be OK-- I do know that in the end, it will be. I guess I just need to get to the point where the things that my head is telling me go to my heart.
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